How do you listen? What do you hear? And what do you give back as a present? This week was a week where we aligned the team and practiced our listening skills. Listening can be such a powerful tool to connect on a deeper level and to work together more efficiently.
Last Friday when I was working in the Hub Amsterdam with two of my fellow Knowmads Manuel and Oscar we reached a point where we got stuck. We all wanted to work on a specific project and all had a different vision on how to do this. This almost resulted in a competition between ego’s, and each one of us more or less going or own way, feeling disturbed by the process in the same time. Here is where we stopped and said: ‘What is happening? We are not listening to each other'. Manuel introduced a model he got from Cornelius on ‘Non violent communication’. We stepped back from what we were doing and the three of us answered the following questions:
- What do we observe?
- What do we feel?
- What do we need?
- What do we request?
By doing this we found a way how to work together on the project answering the needs of the three of us. This resulted in a great afternoon working together, really collaborating our thoughts because we got tuned in to a form of deep listening. It brought us to new insights and as a team we transcended the way we work together.
Including the wisdom of the minority
The listening method that came to me this week is Deep Democracy. Deep democracy is a facilitation methodology that goes beyond conventional decision making. It recognizes and includes the minority voice. It embracing diversity and facilitates a space of openness and trust. This is something I want to practice more. It aims at a mutual understanding, trust through non-judgmental listening and sharing of personal experience and meaning. A critical minority voice, if integrated can improve the outcome, the collaboration and alignment of a team or community. It made me realize that, 'yes' those who are critical, who do not confirm easily, give a team a special spice that is unmissable... “If there is no struggle there is no progress” - Frederick Douglass
Links
- Deep democracy net: http://deep-democracy.net/
- Wikipedia: http://bit.ly/c20mym
- Deep Democracy. The Inner practice of Civic engagement: http://bit.ly/adfdzf
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